On the very first day I held you in my arms I knew I would love you forever. You were crying when you were given to me and as soon as you were with in my arms you stopped. I will always be here to protect you. I will always be here to guide you. I will love you no matter what you do in life.
Happy fifth birthday my son
Daddy Loves you
When I was little I use to always want to see snow. I wanted to be able to go sledding, make snowmen, and to have snow days from school. Now i know how horrible snow really is.
So Alex and I made the 17+ hour drive from PA to MS. We had to delay a day due to heavy snow in VA. I knew going in this was going to be an interesting trip with Alex only being 4 and the trip being so long. I had planed ahead and had his TVs in the back ready with lots of movies. Little did I know that the only one he’d want to watch would be Sponge Bob. Also just a small word of advise if you ever go threw MA and West VA after a snow storm just know that they don’t properly clean the roads of snow!
Well next post will be of pictures and Alex’s reaction to everyone.
So I went threw a training course from PAMSP which was free. I had to go to two days of class room training from 6pm to 8:45pm then had two days of riding training from 7am to 1pm on the weekend. The instructors where all awesome and supportive and helped me learn a bit about riding. In the end I passed the riding test and got to go home happy. Now next thing is to get an actual bike.
My weekend started out rocky before it even got here. I had 3 days off from work and had to argue with my ex to get Alex for Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. Well then I find out Saturday morning I’m not going to get him until later that night so that just meant I had more time to grab my new FN 5.7 and blow off steam at the range. Well that night after he waved by to his mom after she dropped him off he cried for her a little while until he fell asleep. Well Alex would try to get me to take him to mommy’s house so I decided we’d go to Wal-mart since I needed stuff anyway. In the middle of shopping my ex calls and asks me to drop him off so he can go to the new swimming pool her parents got so I did since I was trying to find a place to take him swimming earlier in the week. She kept him for about 2 to 3 hours and when she tried to drop him off he cried and literally put his hands together and begged me not to take him. So heart broken I chose to let him stay with her. About 10 minutes later she called and came back up he was asking for daddy’s house again. After about 10 minutes realising his mom didn’t stay with us he started to cry again and again beg me to take him to her house. I managed to bribe him with starburst and we went the rest of the night ok. Well Monday he was at it again until I dropped him off around 7:30.
Looking back on it I think he just wants us back together again but that’s not going to happen. The worst part about all this is I can see it in his eyes the same way I felt when I was little. I hate to see him go threw the same pain I went threw. It hurts me to look into his eyes and tell him Mommy and Daddy will never be together again. The situation isn’t my fault but it hurts when I see him like this. Also having your 4 year old child literally put his hands together and beg is heart breaking.